Put your f@%#ing shoes on

in

This post is about selective memory. The photographs below depict the quiet, happy moments that occur between the countless stubborn stand off's, power-struggles and never ending rounds of 20 questions that make up a day in the life of my three year old son. Whoever came up with the idea of "terrible two's," must have killed their child well before they reached the age of three. Now maybe I'm dramatizing just a little, but Cohen can be a real asshole. I have literally been late to work on several occasions simply because Cohen didn't want to put on his shoes. I mean really, your not going to wear shoes? In the words of Walter Sobchack, "Cohen, this is not Vietnam, there are rules." But for every moment of contention and self absorption, there is an equally selfless and affectionate moment that balances out this delicate familial equation. So, instead of posting pictures of tantrums, tears and broken down baby gates (which I have), I have used selective memory to show off the quiet, beautiful moments I get to share with the most important person I know. Plus, I don't think Tana would appreciate the call from Child Protective Services wondering why Cohen is always screaming bloody murder.

Tana and Cohen in the front yard.

Tana and Cohen in the front yard.

Cohen and Tana rocking

Cohen and Tana rocking

Tana and Cohen in the front yard.

Tana and Cohen in the front yard.

Tana and Cohen in the front yard.

Tana and Cohen in the front yard.

Tana and Cohen in the front yard.

Tana and Cohen in the front yard.

Cohen sitting at the table

Cohen sitting at the table

runaway

in

I worked on a story this spring about a troubled teen who, with the help of her family and therapist, got on the right track. Below is a selection of photos and a small story I photographed and wrote for Illumination magazine. The longer article about multisystemic therapy can be found here on the Illumination website. During a ten-month period when she was 14, Kayla Cody ran away from home more than 20 times. “We were in shock,” says her father, Dennis Cody. “We just kept asking ourselves what we did wrong to make her go down that path.” Cody, now 17, disappeared for weeks at a time, sometimes staying with friends and, at one point, spending an entire week sleeping in a car. “Running was scary, but it was the only thing I had,” says Cody. “If it would have continued, I would have ended up in a juvenile home.”

After seeing a family counselor with little success, Cody’s family turned to Rheagan Fernandez, a multi-systemic therapist working at Places for People, a mental health services provider in St. Louis. It didn’t take long for Fernandez to figure out the problem — a lack of communication. Today, thanks to six months of therapy and work with the Missouri Option Program — a Department of Elementary and Secondary Education initiative that allows students to make up missed credits — Kayla is on schedule to graduate with her class. “Kayla is still Kayla. She has a little attitude but knows what she has to do now to succeed,” says her father.