"We are accustomed to repeating the cliche, and to believing, that 'our most precious resource is our children.' But we have plenty of children to go around, God knows, and as with Doritos, we can always make more. The true scarcity we face is practicing adults, of people who know how marginal, how fragile, how finite their lives and their stories and their ambitions really are but who find value in this knowledge, even a sense of strange comfort, because they know their condition is universal, is shared." — Michael Chabon (Manhood for Amateurs)
nocent, gentle, curious, and perfect. I believe that all those things are rooted in his trust of Tana and I, and as Chabon says, our ability to convey to him just how marginal, fragile and finite our lives really are.
It is very easy for me to love Cohen and to walk through the motions of being a "good" father. What is not easy, is being a good parent, which sadly, is very different from being a "good" father. The standard for being a good father is pitifully low in my opinion. Traditionally the father is the bread winner, that's it. He doesn't make the meals, change the diapers or clean up the puke. He just sits back, occasionally throws a ball or two in the child's direction, and cooks meat on the grill.
To teach Cohen the humility and civility that I feel is important in making him a successful human being, I have to continue to grow and learn myself. I have to realize that cleaning up puke is an intimate moment shared between a father and his son. I need to understand that changing a shitty diaper is a lesson in humility. Those things will allow me to create the impenetrable bond between Cohen and I that is not present between most fathers and sons.